The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style
Shannon Ables
The simple sophisticate is someone who prefers quality over quantity, sensible living over mindless consumption, personal style instead of trendy fashions, has an insatiable curiosity for life's endless questions and a desire to live a truly fulfilling life rather than being led around by the nose. Inspired by her lifestyle blog The Simply Luxurious Life, Shannon Ables (the original Simple Sophisticate) shares with listeners tips on how to live a refined life on an everyday income, a life of true contentment. Founded on the principle of the art of living a life of quality over quantity, episodes explore topics ranging from creating an everyday life you love living, strengthening mindfulness practices, preparing seasonally delicious meals, building a capsule wardrobe, traveling the world (Francophiles and Anglophiles tune in as France as well as the Britain are favorite destinations), and living life to the fullest without breaking the bank because living well is really quite simple. *illustration by artist Sarah Löcker exclusively commissioned for the show
The simple sophisticate is someone who prefers quality over quantity, sensible living over mindless consumption, personal style instead of trendy fashions, has an insatiable curiosity for life's endless questions and a desire to live a truly fulfilling life rather than being led around by the nose. Inspired by her lifestyle blog The Simply Luxurious Life, Shannon Ables (the original Simple Sophisticate) shares with listeners tips on how to live a refined life on an everyday income, a life of true contentment. Founded on the principle of the art of living a life of quality over quantity, episodes explore topics ranging from creating an everyday life you love living, strengthening mindfulness practices, preparing seasonally delicious meals, building a capsule wardrobe, traveling the world (Francophiles and Anglophiles tune in as France as well as the Britain are favorite destinations), and living life to the fullest without breaking the bank because living well is really quite simple. *illustration by artist Sarah Löcker exclusively commissioned for the show
437: How to Become a More Secure Person — 6 Ways taught by Amir Levine in his new book
Episodios
That feeling when our shoulders drop naturally, we make decisions from a place of confidence rather than fear, we are at ease to be ourselves and surround ourselves with those who feel safe to be themselves. There is an unspoken respectfulness rather than resentment, an enjoyment of the company and life we have cultivated, and when momentary chaos jets into the day, we remain steady, trusting we will make it through to the other side where calm will return. A secure feeling in our daily life can arrive or be reached in a few different ways. And mind you, we're not talking financial security, we're talking emotional attachment security. The feeling of being at ease with our own company as well as with those we connect with and interact with. To live a secure life as it pertains to attachments is to engage with the world from a place where our nervous system is regulated (i.e. relaxed) giving us the ability to confidently try new things, share our true selves, relax entirely, and savor completely. You may remember or have read Dr. Amir Levine's bestselling book that he co-authored titled Attached (see below). It inspired an entire episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast (#318), and while that book focused primarily on romantic relationships, in his new book Secure: The revolutionary guide to creating a secure life (released this past spring), he spread the net wider addressing how to be secure in all types of relationships and how to navigate when we are not a healthy place to be secure. In this way, the book is the resource I was delighted to come across recently as it validated and further taught how to be secure within oneself and in choosing and nurturing relationships to maintain a secure life. One of the most helpful Ahas I had while reading this new book, Secure., is that we are often not consistently the same type of attachment style with every relationship (i.e. person) in our life. And this demonstrates that both people figure into the equation that effects the security or lack of security in the relationship. So for example, you may be a fairly secure person, but with say your boss, you become quite anxious. Upon further exploration into why that is, you discover that they are dismissive of your ideas consistently, which causes you to doubt your contributions. Or conversely, maybe you tend to be more avoidant, but with your romantic partner, you feel largely secure because they don't invade your space when you need it, they aren't constantly bugging you when you are apart during the day, and this gives you the independence you need without feeling you have to avoid them or their communication efforts. Ultimately, our objective is to build secure relationships throughout the web of our lives, and once we ourselves are secure and understand how to remain secure, this becomes easier to do. Now, let's discover how to become a secure person in our life, and build secure relationships. Tune in to the episode for the full content, and find the Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast437
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"Sophistication is a perfect marriage between intelligence and simplicity, combined with supreme confidence." —Rose Tarlow, interior designer, author of The Private House A home that spontaneously prompts a deep exhale of relief and appreciation when we arrive. Four walls of our own that reflect what we need to unwind, put down any defenses or professional selves that we have needed to do our job. When we know we have such a place, no matter the size, but we know it is our own, our whole being can rest, can delight and can be free. The caveat is that a home such as this doesn't just magically come together. In fact, even hiring an interior designer won't create this feeling of deep intimate calm that day after day, year after year, we feel innately. Rather, it takes intention, both in knowing ourselves and in knowing how to create the aesthetic combinations of colors, textiles, décor items, furniture and arrangement. The latter is what internationally respected interior designer, antiquarian and fine furniture and fabric creator Rose Tarlow can teach us. In her book The Private House published first back in 2001, she details, more accurately, journals her way through her thought process of decorating private homes for her clients, and herself and loved ones. The book was republished with updates in 2024, and I was fortunate to receive a copy after being inspired to explore the title by a long-time reader and member of TSLL community Deborah L. (thank you Deb!). Rose Tarlow knows quiet luxury, even though she herself would never use the term. But to look at her projects of homes located in France (Provence), England (London) and in the States (Los Angeles), the fact that more than 20 years later they still look inviting, reveal her skill of timeless acquisitions, textile choices and arrangements. Have a look at the quote below and her thoughts about the importance of creating, decorating a house so that it becomes our private house. "Our private house should be a reflection of oursleves, our way of being in the world, what makes us distinctly different from one another. Taste is a matter of opinion and its nature is constantly seeking to define itself. So we are continually influenced by the people we meet, by what we read, and by what we see. Our opinions take shape, yet we are never fully formed, always becoming, incorporating experiences, continuously changing and refining our image of ourselves throughout our lives. This never-ending process of evolvement makes designing one's own home an extremely personal experience." —Rose Tarlow, interior designer, author of The Private House Along with knowing how to decorate, as mentioned above, we must also bring our self-knowledge, and this is an intentional journey we must embark upon, and a most enjoyable and worthwhile one as well. No only for decorating our home well, but making life and relationship decisions. TSLL blog, books and podcast have been dedicated to sharing with you resources and inspiration for unearthing and gaining the knowledge and skills you need to take this journey and with today's post/episode, it's all about decorating know-how: what works and why, how to decide and how to approach decorating your home when you have more than one room staring back at you waiting to be customized. Tune in to the episode to explore the 10 ways to create your own sophisticated sanctuary. Find the Show Notes on the blog, The Simply Luxurious Life - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast436
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"In a world of fleeting trends, the most profound elegance is self-fidelity. Let your style be an authentic whisper of your spirit, not a borrowed shout. Cultivate your own taste; adorn yourself in truths, not trophies. The greatest rebellion is to remain unyieldingly yourself." —Anonymous In many ways it far easier in our world today to be true to ourselves, void of blindly following trends and cultural preferences as options abound of how to live, what to wear, what [fill in the blank of what we are trying to figure out], but at the same time, because the world is so loud with everyone having a microphone and video in their pockets should they want to use it, it can also be hard to know what our own self is. Are we rebelling against the cacophony or walking our own path? Are we singing our own song or is it a tune we heard unconsciously over and over again while going about our life from surrounding influences? One way to know we have arrived at least at a semblance of self-fidelity is when we are comfortable in our own company. No matter the length of time, when we choose to be with only ourselves, how comfortable are we? Are we at peace with the decisions we've made? Do we feel we can correct them if they need adjustment, and who are we adjusting them for? So long as it is for our peace and to bring a peace of mind to our days, then self-fidelity is part of our way of life far more abundantly than we may have given ourselves credit for. There will be times in my days when I ponder the life decisions that have brought me to the life I live today and it is often a pondering grounded in appreciation. While I could not have foreseen the decisions, each one, that would eventually lead me to Le Papillon, working from home, a pup as companion, garden to potter in and connecting with online readers in TSLL community from around the world, the simple truth is the fact that there wasn't a guidebook to lead me here assures me they were made, each decision, with a sincere heart. In alignment with what my true compass. Each decision made, not all easily, but hopeful that it would work out because if they did, I knew I would be energized, full of creative ideas to share and capable of living well. As you will see in point #7, one of the true tests to determine if we are living with the compass of self-fidelity as our guide is whether we have a detailed map of direction or not. Let me bring relief and skip ahead for a moment, not having one, at least not a detailed one, is a most promising thing indeed. Let's take a look at the entire list exploring how to maintain self-fidelity along our life journey: Explore the Full Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast435
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Sideways. Often a term associated with glancing, looking, or moving from side to side, or figuratively referring to something not working out as we'd hoped. However, today, with the help of a new book that brought it to my attention, I want us to reframe this term as we discover how intentionally remembering to live sideways while we strive forward toward our goals, or set sail in the direction of our intentions, is a recipe for living a life of depth, quality, and richness. In a world that may feel as though it is perpetually pushing us forward, or pulling us forward as it sometimes seems, if we don't cultivate a life that nourishes us, we can easily be swept along with the current, focused only on outcomes of productivity, results or finished work or accolades for that work. How we engage with our journey along the way will then become less important, and we have forgotten that living now is all that we have guaranteed. Tune in to the episode and find the show notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast434
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"Everything we do and for how long and intensely we do it affects our brains." —Wendy Suzuki, PhD., author of Healthy Brain, Happy Life We each have the ability to expand and improve the quality of our life. No matter what our age, our brain is capable of expanding in its cognitive abilities. We just need to remember to exercise it. And the beautiful discovery I want to share with you today is that often how we exercise our brain can be not only enjoyable, but elevate our entire life. A win-win in which we are the fortunate recipient that holds the keys to giving to ourselves. In a book that came out in 2015, interactive researcher and well-known TEDx speaker, Dr. Wendy Suzuki shares in Healthy Brain, Happy Life that when we understand what plasticity means when it references the brain, "the idea that the brain has an essential ability to change as a result of experience" we open up encouragement to continue to give it opportunities to stretch, expand and discover. Which means that we are reminded that forever learning, permitting our curiosity to be our guide is not a silly prospect, but a necessary one to live a long and healthy and yep, happy life. Today, I would like to share with you nine practices and ideas, explained through Suzuki's shared rearch of how to keep our brain healthy and thereby enhancing the quality of our lived experience each day. Tune in to the episode as we explore this topic and find the Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog here - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast433
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A change of climate, a change of culture, a change in time zone. All of these and more are concrete changes we encounter when we choose to travel far from our home and daily life. Granted a time zone change may not be part of each occasion, but still, when the sun rises and sets most likely will be. Change is what we witness when we choose to travel. And by choosing to embark on an adventure, an exploration that involves changes, knowing our daily routine will temporarily be different and knowing the environment we step into will be different, we are exercising a powerful muscle that is part of living a life of contentment — accepting and seeing the gift of change. In today's episode, I will be sharing many of the gifts that travel gives us, moreso from the well-being and life enriching perspective, rather than speaking to any particular destination. It can be easy to forget these gifts when we settle back into our daily rhythm. And the courage and choice to invest in travel can sometimes wane the further removed we are from the first-person experience of travel. Let's take a look at eight wonderful gifts that travel gives us and how when we pack the consciousness along with all of the other gifts that living a life of contentment gives us, we deepen the experience all the more. View the Show Notes for this episode on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast432
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"Once we realize that serendipity is not just about a coincidence that happens to us but is actually a process of spotting and connecting the dots do we start to see bridges where others see gaps. Only then does serendipity start happening all the time in our lives." —Christian Busch, PhD, author of The Serendipity Mindset In The Serendipity Mindset, Busch defines serendipity as something that is active, "'smart' luck that depends on our ability to spot and connect the dots." We must first see what he describes as the serendipity trigger, "be able to connect the dots and THEN, develop the tenacity necessary to focus on and influence valuable outcomes." Holding this definition in our mind, we understand that serendipity is something we can invest in to increase the chances of it happening and that, to my ears, is very good news. Today, I'd like to share with you a handful, two handfuls exactly, of ways taught by Busch in his book that we can increase the odds of serendipity happening in our life. This list is merely an introduction as he shares far more in the book. So if today's episode speaks to you, I highly recommend picking up your own copy. Let's get started. Find the Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast431
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The month of July announces the second half of the year's beginning, and yet, it doesn't rush ahead. It is as if time stands still for about four weeks before picking up pace with August's arrival, and then September rapidly moves time along at the pace we seem to follow for ten months of the year. Because of this sensation of time slowing down, I find myself physically permitting myself to slow down as well. To linger, to rest, and then, as a result, having the space to ponder all that leaps into the forefront of my mind, asking me to entertain in some way, figure out how to bring it into my life to add to the symphony that already is. After all, any instrument that is frequently used and appreciated needs to be maintained. So, while this will involve new ideas, it will also be reminders of what is already contributing to the life we love living, so we are deepening our awareness and thus reminded to appreciate what already is going well. How we do that is by slowing down, shifting into a lower, toodling-along gear for more than a day or a weekend. Whenever you are able to begin shifting down into a slower pace, today's post/episode is an invitation to sink into your being, rest your mind and then observe where it wishes to go, what tickles the curiosity. Let July be the month that reminds you that you can refuse to live the life that the world says you should want and instead build a life that makes you infinitely content and joyously happy. Let July provide the time and space to ponder what that life consists of. Tune in to the episode to take a look at the 7-point check-in list, and find the detailed Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast430
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"Uncertainty will happen to us even when we try to avoid it. To reach our highest potential and live our noblest values, we need to be willing to step into uncertainty." —Nathan Furr and Susannah Harmon Furr, authors of The Upside of Uncertainty From knowing how the day will unfold to how our year will unfold, we cannot know until we live it. Uncertainty surrounds us, and to deny its existence by trying to live the same way each day, do what we've always done, we only limit the amazing possibilities that have the potential to be experienced and elevate the quality of our life. In a book published back in 2022, husband and wife team, Nathan Furr and Susannah Harmon Furr, share with oodles of research paired with examples from current and past entrepreneurs, philosophers, activists, and ordinary people, including their own life experience which found them moving their entire family to France and settling into the French culture, how embracing uncertainty instead of shunning it, pretending it doesn't exist is a primary approach to living a life you love. The Upside of Uncertainty includes detailed, concrete approaches, tools and supports for our mindset, to help us stay the course during the time that uncertainty inevitably arrives along our journey when we've decided to do something we've never done before. All that will be shared today is gleaned from the book, and is just a taste of what you will find when you pick it up. A resource I know I will return to repeatedly to be reminded of how to sustain my tenacity, how to incorporate supportive components, as well as how to course correct or make the most of outcomes undesired along the way. Let's begin by taking a look at the importance of choosing to embrace uncertainty. Find the Show Notes for this episode on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast429
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Dynamicism embodies the ability to move, adjust, adapt and thus thrive in whatever environment one finds themselves. To be dynamic is to be fully alive and thus living fully the life that we are given. Whenever we talk about contentment and what lies at the heart of experiencing contentment and how I introduce the Contentment Masterclass is the idea of a vehicle that provides us a mode of transportation along our life journey. When we are content, the motor of our vehicle that creates the abiding peace during any type of driving conditions (life and world events outside of our control) is the learned skill of equanimity. "Equanimity is a state of psychological balance and stability. Evenness of mind and temper allows us to navigate the many curveballs that life may throw at us with grace and serenity." —PositivePsychology.com Notice that equanimity is described as a skill. This is awesome news. We do not come out of the womb with the ability to keep ourselves calm, yet remain loving and kind while honoring our integrity, in difficult situations. It is a skill we choose to learn, and like most skills, it takes practice. We will wobble and feel very uneasy in our first attempts at holding ourselves calmly in an agitating moment, watching our words with care before uttering them or deciding whether or not to respond. This will take extraordinary reserves of energy as we welcome this skill into our toolbox of contentment. But the more we engage in such a way, it gradually becomes our default. And as we witness the peace we feel afterward, knowing we are at ease with how we engaged, what we said, and how we spoke (our tone and our words), we are self-encouraged to continue to apply this skill moving forward. This is where we begin, knowing what the word literally means. Now, let's dive into how to we practice this skill in our lives and the many opportunities to do so. Find the Show Notes for this episode on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast428
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The bad habits you didn't pick up. The good habits that you did. The thoughts you chose to hold on to and explore further and the ones you let go. The priorities we set and the long-term dreams we said yes to and gradually stepped toward. Both the simple everyday choices paired with the foundational decisions that require long-range planning and commitment play a role in the quality of our life today and down the road. Generally, we understand this truth, but whether or not we put it into practice depends on how consciously we live our lives. How present we are, how clear-eyed we are (i.e., self-aware), and how brave we are. When it comes to nurturing dreams into materialization, it is first the awareness of where we point our sails of intention, and then the knowledge of which everyday choices will increase the potential for our eventual arrival. Most real, lasting change happens quietly and goes unnoticed until it suddenly seems to appear, but the truth is, it was built over time by our daily choices and big investments. Today, we'll explore 10 everyday, perhaps seemingly mundane and inconsequential choices that actually contribute significantly to a healthier daily life today and tomorrow, along with five significant investments that require serious consideration. All 15 choices will strengthen our well-being and lead us to being able to fulfill our dreams. View the complete Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast427
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Whether we've stepped foot on the terra firma of the British Isles or not, the time prior to an anticipated trip to do so, whether already booked or dreamed about, is a skill in patience and preparation. Yep, savoring how we've curated what we can right where we live to incorporate what we love most about the culture. Since my last trip in October 2023, the moment I returned home, I wanted to hop right back on the plane again and head back to Britain. If it weren't for my pups and my budget, I would have ☺️ But such a feeling is a gift as well. It means we have found what speaks to us, what brings us to life, and that is something to celebrate. What we do in between our trips will make the next trip all the more a treasured memory. So by exploring and pinpointing exactly what we miss, it can better inform us of what we wish to see, do, and look forward to when we return. So, today, I'd like to share with you 10 things I miss before the next opportunity arises to upload my tickets on my phone and pack my luggage. Find the Show Notes for this episode on The SImply Luxurious Life blog, https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast426
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Chess. At first, the idea of thinking like a chess champion may sound like an impossible feat if we do not know how to play the game, but as winner of two U.S. Women's Chess Championships and the first woman to win the U.S. Junior Chess Open, Jennifer Shahade shares in her new book, it all comes down to thinking well. Or to put it more precisely, thinking sideways. In my conversation with Jennifer, who is also a two-time Global Poker Award winner and silver Olympic medalist, she will share what she means by her chosen title, and then we will dive into specific decision-making strategies that champion chess players like herself use and how they also translate into creating a life we love living. Be sure to tune in to the audio version of our conversation as we will talk about the power of embracing intermezzos, why presence is crucial to seeing and then seizing opportunity, why focusing on our strengths is far more valuable than zeroing in on our weaknesses, and many more worthwhile pieces of life advice as witnessed through the lens of the game of chess. I do hope you enjoy the episode as Jennifer was a great guest and shared freely. And her Petit Plaisir offers a new perspective on a word we may have unfairly defined negatively. Find the Show Notes for the episode on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast425
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"The key is to enjoy the moment, and never stop learning along the way." —Sharon Santoni encouragement to explore France's many antique and vintage markets, fairs and shops France. The history, the ambiance, the food, ahhh, and the antiques and vintage treasures. If you've ever dreamed of traveling to France or have traveled to France and have wanted to know how to navigate the many brocantes, antique fairs and markets, a new book has been written for you. Sharon Santoni, founder of My French Country Home - the blog, the magazine, the travel tours and the seasonal boxes filled with treasures, has spent years traveling around France treasure hunting, and mostly in the wee hours of the morning. A mother of four, now a self-described empty-nester, she and her husband had their home to furnish, and so it was to the French brocantes they went to do so. Thus began an adventure and sparked a passion for French antiques. In our conversation talking about her new book - The Art of Antiquing in France, Sharon will share how her introduction into this wonderful world of treasures and French history began, who guided her through and welcomed her into the community of dealers that find themselves at various markets and fairs over the calendar year, and she generously shares insights of where to go, what to look for and how to connect with the dealers to learn more about what catches your eye. She will also share what the true test of a good buy is when it comes to purchasing antiques, and how to hone your eye, taste and judgment so you can feel confident with your choices. Listen to the episode, #424, to hear our entire conversation and find the Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast424
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My niece is graduating from high school this year, and as an aunt, it is a practice in letting go and trusting the amazing person that she is that she will find her way in life. If I were her parent, it would be different, as there is more direct support involved. This has been a great practice in exemplifying what is talked about here on TSLL: Living with intention, having clarity, being loving and kind while honoring our integrity in all interactions, but not clinging, controlling or manipulating. Our life is our own, and every other person has their own life journey to travel. Often, when a younger generation is reaching a milestone we too have passed through, we project our experience onto them, errantly making assumptions that we know what they are going through, what they will want and need. But the truth is, while the fundamentals may largely be the same, just as the fundamentals for surviving as a human being are the same for each of us – fresh air, water, sleep, food, shelter, etc., the details of how life will be lived to be fulfilling and enriching for each individual will be unique to them. Now, let's flip the script and examine the journey as the journeyperson trying to figure out their path forward. How do we find ease with where we are going and how we are living? It often can be easier to tell others how to live their life than to examine whether or not we are living well our own. So the question then becomes, How do we know, without knowing, that we are heading in the best direction for our life journey? Let's explore the four approaches to incorporate into our daily life to ensure we are living in sync with our inner compass. Find the detailed Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast423
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"We might think that security is everything. But to secure something is to bind it. To keep it still. In contrast, in embracing uncertainty, we discover an ever-changing freedom and flow." —Andy Puddicombe An unexpected event. From startling good news that seems to come out of the blue or devastating loss, these events and anything in between that occur outside of what we imagine or have forgotten could happen or believed wouldn't happen for some time, provide a powerful medicine to bring out a deeply fulfilling life. These events that shake us awake to the reality that we cannot know how life will unfold from day to day are what American psychiatrist Irvin Yalom describes as 'awakening experiences'. And this awakening is an awesome opportunity, should we choose to see it as such. "Uncertainty has so much to teach us." —Anne-Laure Le Cunff, author of Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World As a neuroscientist, entrepreneur, and now author, Anne-Laure Le Cunff shares how embracing uncertainty is ironically the "antidote to burnout and boredom alike—a counterforce to the fear, overwhelm, confusion, and loneliness", many people she knows and observes "try to apply old notions of success to the world we're living in today." Paired with befriending our curiosity, practicing mindfulness in our work around our approach to productivity, and keeping an open mind, when we welcome all four into our daily approach to live, that is when our life begins to sing – in the daily rhythm that deepens our contentment and in the outcome of wherever we have set our intentions to extend towards. "When you lean into your curiosity, uncertainty can be a state of expanded possibility, a space for metamorphosis. It's a way to turn challenges into triggers for self-discovery and doubt into a source of opportunity." —Anne-Laure Le Cunff Tune in to the episode to listen to the full episode and find the Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast422
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